A belated heartfelt thank you. 9/27

This thank you is long overdue. If you knew me before June 19, 2017 you'd have known, I'm punctual. Our whole family is punctual. To us if you aren't at least 5 minutes early, you're late. But my life has taken a turn. A sharp unexpected turn and I'm lost. Being on time has become the least of my concerns. But I share this because, I know that I should have sent this thank you months ago. In the past, I actually loved sitting down to write thank you notes. I loved the process. Its almost like getting the gift all over again. I'd sit there thinking about the gift, the people or person who cared enough to think of me and give me a token of their love. But this is unlike any thank you note, I'd ever written or tried to write. I've lost count as to how many times I sat at my computer with the determination to get this done. But with each attempt came heartbreak, sadness and grief. The tears would start as a trickle and before long I looked and felt like a bag of swollen snot. I'd get mad at myself and feel so foolish until, I just said to myself one day I'd rather wait till I can say thank you properly, then send a thank you in a timely manner. So its been just over 3 months since I found my husband dead on the sofa in our living room. I relive that moment almost everyday. I've rearranged the furniture hoping that would help. It hasn't. But I've learned a lot in these 3 months. The most important being, I'm not alone. I may not have my other half. I may not have the security and love he provided me but I have more than I knew. The day, I got a call from one of the 12 was a day like any other I'd been trying to get through. I was lying in bed looking at the stack of papers on my bed. Sorting into keep, toss, idk, and now. The idk pile seemed to be the largest. The call went something like this. Hi, I'm a part of the group called 12 ordinary women. Your name was given to us and I was wondering if we could stop by and bring you something. We know you're going through a difficult time and we don't want to take up your time and we won't come in. My first thought was how did she get my number and why is she bugging me. But the instant she said she wouldn't come in and just wanted to drop something off, I was relieved to say the least. So I agreed. I tossed on some clothes because for the past few weeks my look was less than presentable. I waited. When I opened the door, I know I probably looked like a mess. I tried to be warm but am sure I was giving the just give me the card and go look. The two women couldn't have been warmer, sweet and beautiful..All the things I wish I had felt and given in return. But they handed me the envelope and I quickly said thanks and goodbye. I tossed the envelope on the kitchen table and went back to bed. I was literally exhausted. It was several days before I remembered the card as mail had been stacked upon it. When I opened it, I was in shock. Tears began to well up and stream down my face. What was this. Why!!! I didn't deserve this. Who was so thoughtful to have passed on my name. I sat down and just began to cry. This was definitely a God moment. God was looking out for me. God had touched someones heart to pass on my name. God was working through this amazing group of women to carry out His work in His name. In that plain envelope was cash in a lovely card with a picture of the backs of the 12 ordinary women. I wish I could give all 12 of you a hug. To personally tell you how grateful I am. How in that moment you reminded me that I'm not alone. That my son and I have extraordinary people in our lives and most importantly we have a loving God. So while the money was useful and needed, it was the gesture that has filled my heart that day and everyday since then. THANK YOU FROM THE BOTTOM OF MY HEART FOR BEING A REMINDER OF GOD"S ENDURING LOVE. love, Melissa and Sam